My end
by TiannaZ
Summary: It was a tingling desire, brushing my fingers, my heart. I knew this desire would be my end. Fai wants to feel. Feel life, feel love, feel the other's tan skin. Angsty? Fluffy? Rated T just incase..


Random and fluffy? This is set after they defeated Fei Wong in Clow country! This is my random little confession scene. Enjoy!

Tsubasa does not belong to me *CRIES* i wish it was!

It was a tingling desire, brushing my fingers, my heart. I knew this desire would be my end, if I gave in to the whims of my heart I would ruin everything. Ruin what little we had, but god was this desire strong…

His face usually so serious, so stoic, it was peaceful… warm. So close to mine, so very close. His eyes were shut and his lashes curled against tan cheeks. If he knew just how gorgeous he was he might smile even just once. I would love to see his smile. I would love to see his sleeping face more often.

We'd fallen asleep in the same bed, by accident. We were both tired, both feeling so free, so light. The end to Fei Wong and his evil, all the people he ruined had been avenged. My brother and Kurogane's parents. I'm sure many others suffered by his hands, to those people I also pray their souls are free.

But right now I couldn't think of any of that. Of that man's death, of the injuries marring my skin. I could only feel the desire ripping my body apart. My end. This desire would be my end. This desire tickled my insides making my heart leap to my throat and my brain to slowly lose sense. I was drowning in want.

I wished to reach my hand up to his face and touch his cheek. Feel his tan skin against my pale fingers. I wanted to trace my hand over his sharp jawline. Wanted to_ feel_ him. His arms, his heart, something other than a punch or him grabbing my elbow. And now lying next to him, with his warmth flooding my senses and radiating into me, I wanted to feel him even more.

My hand, so pale and thin, gripped the bed sheets tightly. I couldn't reach up to his face. I'd have to keep my wants under lock and key. Throw the feelings off a bridge and watch them sink slowly to the murky depths of my despair. He couldn't know how I felt. I needed him, even if he never understood or I could never tell him, I needed him by my side. My anchor… my only tie to reality, I just needed something. I must not give in to desire.

What would he do if I actually did give in though? What if he woke and my fingers were on his cheek? Would he tell me I'm disgusting? Would he tell me what I was feeling made him want to hurl? Would he really? I somehow felt the word 'no' tugging my heart. He'd seen my past, he'd seen my lies yet he still stayed by me. Still protected me through thick and thin.

My hand was trembling now and soft tears pinching my eyes. He'd given up so much. So much all for me. How I wished to give him something, anything in return. This was yet another reason I could not simply reach out to his face. I owed him so much; I didn't want to disgust him. So with even more effort than before I clenched the sheets tighter.

As I stared at him, my fingers aching with strain, I began to wonder. How had we ended up in the same bed? All I remembered from before waking up was getting back here, with the two children nestled safely in each of our arms. The rest of what happened I can't remember. But I remember weakness, fatigue and want. That was it, by that point my body was too weak to even keep me breathing properly. I fell asleep. It seemed as though he'd fallen asleep too. He'd just fallen asleep next to me. If he'd fallen asleep next to me maybe he didn't mind me being close to him?

My hand loosened its death grip on the sheets and my heart picked up pace. If he woke up I could say there was a bug on his face, simple. If he stayed asleep I could admire him properly.

Slowly ever so slowly, my hand crawled up between us. We were quite close so I could feel his chest as my hand went up to his face. He had a solid chest and I wouldn't expect any less from him. When my hand was on the sheets next to his chin my heart was beating faster. Desire, so strong, such a betraying emotion and I wished it would leave me be. I needed to feel a form of love too much, so much so that I felt my abdomen heating up.

With a squeeze of my eyes and a shaky breath I closed that small gap between his face and my hand. The second I felt his skin, I trembled ever so gently. He was so warm; he wasn't overly soft or perfect either. His skin was rough and he had dips on his face from where the blade of an opponent cut him. He had scars and as I felt his face and saw it close so up I could see them perfectly. The scars didn't make him any less gorgeous in my opinion. So my fingers continued their odd dance along his wonderful skin, I could feel the heat splashed across my pale cheeks and the desire my body was continuing to create.

"What are you doing?" I yelped at the voice my hand retreating and my cheeks felt like they had been set on fire. I gulped and stared at him nervously. I told myself it would be easy to explain, but the words were caught in my throat and my heart was thudding loudly.

"I-I… I just… th-there was a b-bug on your f-face," I was tripping over my words and mentally scolded myself for sounding so stupid. I watched as his eyebrows rose sceptically and I blushed deeper. "I should probably go… I didn't mean to fall asleep in the same bed as y-you," I mumbled looking away. Gosh I was such an idiot… I knew my heart's desire should have been ignored.

I slowly started to make a move, to try and get out of the small bed and away from him. When I had managed to wriggle back a bit I suddenly felt a warmth press against my thigh and I swear my blush was so deep I could be used as a stove. He'd pressed his leg to mine; he seemed too tired to do anything else.

"You idiot, just go to sleep," he grumbled his ruby eyes watching me in annoyance. I paused in my attempt to escape and my body relaxed back into the white sheets. The sheets bunched around me and created a safe place for me to hide my face. My eyes slid shut and I buried my face into the covers, his leg still pressing to mine.

"You know…" he trailed off but I heard the smirk in his gruff voice. "I was awake the entire time. There was no bug on my face."

My face felt like it was on fire and I whined in embarrassment. He'd been awake the entire time? With a scowl and a childish pout I turned to look at him and his smirk was teasing me. With as much force as I could sum up I punched his chest then huffed.

"Why didn't you stop me then?" I heard him chuckle and I felt embarrassment flood my entire being. He was so mean! Teasing me like that! Why hadn't he stopped me?

"I liked it." I think my heart dropped to my stomach when he said that. With uncertainty and obviously annoyed blue eyes I turned to him. I expected his usual scowl or something along the lines of a smirk but what I found made me smile… truly smile. All I had wanted was to see a smile light his dark face… and I got that smile, my desire.

He seemed a bit stunned when he saw the smile spread across my thin pink lips. That was the first time I'd seen him lost for words, but I could feel something like pride or relief flooding the air. He was proud of me. I was proud of him. I loved him. Did he love me?

"Seriously what's wrong with me? Maybe all the blood lose has gotten to my head," Kurogane grumbled and I nodded slowly.

"Yes Kuro-obvious when you lose a lot of blood your head feels light," I teased and he glared.

"You're just as annoying as ever you know that?" He grumbled and I smiled softly.

"And you're just as impolite as before," I pointed out and he rolled his eyes slightly at the comment. "But I think I like you better now… as opposed to before," I said softly turning my head slightly to look at the ceiling.

I meant that. With all my heart. He was a better person now. I respected that I'd even go as far as saying I admired him. I heard him grumbling next to me and turned back to him with curiosity. He had a slow blush creeping up his tan cheeks.

"I guess I could say the same about you…" I watched him turn away from me an obvious annoyed expression painted across that gorgeous face of his. I smiled warmly and sat up. He turned back to me when I moved and gave me a puzzled expression.

"I'm glad you do… I like me better too." He seemed to have his aura washed with more relief and I smiled down at him. Gently I placed a hand on his cheek and smiled genuinely. He was surprised and he was red, if only slightly. "You said you liked it… I owe you a lot anyway." My head dipped slightly and my fingers slipped from his face as I lied down again. No matter how I wished it to be otherwise, how strong my desire was, I owed him everything I could give.

"Tch. I didn't do all that stuff to put you in debt. I did it because of emotion." He seemed almost shamed in himself when he said the word. "Emotions got in the way of rationality, but they say that don't they? When you're in love you can't make sense of anything… you just do, without thinking."

My heart went into a frenzy and I turned my head to the side. He'd just said that right? "D-did you just say… you love me?" I asked hesitantly and his eyes widened when he heard the questioned.

"Oh crap!" He muttered angrily and I felt the him shift next to me. "I…" he began seeming to be still hitting himself over letting the words slip through his lips.

"I love you." He paused and looked at me but I refused to look back. "And I have to agree, emotion screwed me up. I lost sense and fell for someone who I probably never should've." There I'd said it, my end. I was waiting for that feeling of rejection. The feeling of my anchor slipping away, like grains of fine sand. My heart was twisting as he continued to stay silent. If this silence stretched on I'd lose it. Lose that simple thing I held close to my heart, but I'd never lose the desire. Never.

"I, like you, promised to not form attachments, so when I got home it'd be easier." I could feel his eyes on me so I turned to face him. "That seemed to go down the drain didn't it? I got attached to the kid… the princess. I hate to admit it and give you more to tease me about, but I care for them like the children that I'll never have."

I felt the tears welling in my eyes. I couldn't deny those feelings either. How I loved both of those kids so much. I loved them like my family. I loved Kurogane like my family too, but like the other parent in the family.

"I even got attached to stupid blondie," he grumbled after a while giving me a glare that made me smile slightly. "Him more so than anyone I'd ever been attached to in my entire life." I felt his warmth coming closer to me and his face was now hovering over mine. I stared at him in wonder and watched annoyance rush to his face. I could see how reluctant he was to talk so sweetly. "I know for a fact that it hurts more than anything when he calls me my real name and that when he's being stupid I wanna tape his mouth shut." He was growling now and I was smiling quite amused.

"I know his past, his real name. Fai… Yuui," he whispered and I shook my head. "Fai." I nodded. "Want me to tell you what else I know?" He asked and I nodded my throat feeling dry. "That though he's the biggest moron in the entire world, I love him… more than anyone."

That was when the tears were let loose and spilled freely down my pale cheeks. I could see his eyes soften when he saw my tears but I still knew how hard it was for him to say those words. Slowly he leaned down further and kissed my cheek. I felt my body overflow with desire and my arms wrapped around his neck. I squeezed him tightly and he seemed to share the same feeling, the same longing.

I pulled back and stared at him, our gazes were locked and I could feel the intensity of both our emotions. My heart was thudding so hard I thought I was going to break. After I felt the urge to feel his lips against my own I could tell neither of us wanted to just look anymore, we wanted to _feel_. Feel the love we knew the other held for us.

His mouth connected to mine. I felt the desire no longer brushing my fingers, my heart, it was clutching me tight. His lips so moist and a completely different texture to mine, his arms so strong and so warm. I moulded perfectly into every aspect of him. Our lips meshed together perfectly and my body was snuggly fitting into his arms.

Our limbs tangled together and my heart pounded louder. His hands went into my hair and massaged my scalp. I felt a feather light moan escape my lips and a light growl escape his. I felt like I was lacking in participation, so I did what I knew he liked. I reached my hands up and cupped his jaw lightly. My fingers traced his cheekbones and the few scars on his tan flesh. He shivered slightly and his lips parted slowly from mine.

He lingered there his lips brushing softly against my own. This desire was going to kill me because I couldn't stand not being connected to him whilst my body was burning in passion. His eyes burned into mine and I felt my lids sliding shut. They were half lidded and I couldn't stand another second without his lips.

"Kuro…" I begged and he smirked slightly and leaned down again fulfilling my desperate desire.

He kissed me again but the pace was a little different, it was still slow and passion filled but he was lightly making grabs for my lips with his teeth. It was an amazing kiss. It added to the burning blush on my pale face and my eyes were dropping. I loved his face at that moment and didn't want to close my eyes but the intensity had my control thrown away.

His tongue. God why did he have to add that? I was already at breaking point. Dying from desire and intensity. But he just had to add that didn't he? But oh how amazing it was, how amazing he was.

It was swift and I felt another moan roll through my heated body. His tongue was slowly flicking inside my mouth, running along the sides and prodding my own tongue to encourage it. I reacted to the contact by coiling my own tongue around Kurogane's and tugging his hair a bit too hard. That didn't seem to bother him as he pressed himself down onto my body.

Then it slowed. We both knew if it went further we wouldn't be able to stop ourselves and I knew for a fact that neither of us were ready for that, we were both injured. It became sweet and lingering and he pulled away slowly. His forehead resting against mine and his breathing had a strange pattern, and so did mine.

The kiss was so sensual. So intoxicating. My desire was pouring out of me like a fountain and I felt light. Felt like I could live happily from now on. The colour red, the colour of passion of love not of blood.

I opened my eyes to Kurogane's face, our foreheads pressed together and the sun shining through the window. He creased an eyebrow and his eyelids twitched. I watched as he red eyes opened and he looked at me.

"That was real right?" He asked after a while and I felt a smile twitch my lips upwards. I leaned down and kissed him softly.

"What do you think?" I asked, teasing obvious in my feather voice.

"It was real."

"Indeed it was." I smiled and touched his face. "And it's real now too."

I kissed him and he kissed back. Yes it was real now and it would be real in the future. My desire was not fulfilled; more fuel had been added to the flame. He wasn't going to slip through my fingers like a grain of sand. He was a rock. Solid and something I could hold on to. I wouldn't let him go. I loved him too much to even think about letting him slip through the cracks.

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><p>AN; Yay it is finished! please R&R 3 Ummm i have nothing else to say *facepalm*


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